To Love Not To Live With
I can’t say that it is a story of love or friend or even just a moment of rendezvous while I can’t decide when it started and how long it will be happened. I confess that, before I think life is so simply although it isn’t rare for me to say word complicated. To feel is so different than to see. Sometimes you can’t hardly control what you’re thinking of or your feeling is waiting to be expressed.
But one thing that often happened in this earth is you can’t gain what you want and you’ve to try to search another way to replace your desire, probably to be healed and to change it in to renewable one. Actually, I don’t understand enough about what is renewable one, but I describe it as mobile phenomenon or maybe some kinds of symtomps that I’ve ever felt but then I have to look for another real one that be better than before.
I my self know that my sentences here are so complicated because sometimes even my real me can’t transform well things on my mind and in my head. For me it’s not right enough, I know I’m happy when I see you smile or when you start to joke but I think it won’t be eternal and showed up only for fragile happiness.
Sign me as a platonic love believer. While I know that faitfulness is still exist eventhough many people doubt it. What’s the meaning of life when there’s no keeping promise, commitment and simply trusting everyday. I am not the judge for my self and I don’t want to be. I see that many challenges and pressure especially from heart it self but who will take control of this? No one except the man or the woman who feels it and who are trying to struggle to find the best conclusion.
I feel that this is different and will become the new moment to remember like adding a piece of memory, written on the pieces of lifetime. I call it special doesn’t mean I’ll hand it for goods and defend my self just for a cliché love reason. I understand about reality even I have to say sorry and want to be apologized.
Kindly like imagination. You sat in front of me and said something happened between us and we’re fear to confess or may be confuse to find the definition. But we know that we’re still friends and support each other. Don’t’t want to see you fall and worse than before. Don’t want to realize that you’re satisfy in my failure moment. I know life must go on and the brave one who’re ready to feet life itself woud gain the logical result.
Four words, it’s not easy. I’m not going crazy or something. But I do, I’m anxious a little bit of that and I hesitate sometimes. I write, I read, I go, I smile, I talk with, I cry and almost in my sleep, I can’t understand about this especially when I’m alone.
It’s like an opportuniy, just how you can make it well and get the positive point from all the puzzles. We’ll never be lovers for us but we’re tighted in human being circle which we’re two have ever had a time to share, to give and to take with conditions surely. Eternal Story not just an happy ending, because to live with doesn’t mean true joy. To love is to know you well.